Totems

Alright, let’s talk about them totem pole thingies, you know, the ones you see around here. I ain’t no expert, but I seen a few, and I can tell ya what I know. First off, where to find ’em? Well, if you’re lookin’ for the best place to gawk at them poles, Ketchikan is the place to be. Heard tell it’s the best spot. They got a bunch of places there. Saxman, they call it, and Totem Bight. And there’s this museum too, the Totem Heritage Museum. It’s right in…

Well, let me tell you somethin’ about this here totem pole bear thing, ya know? It ain’t just some fancy wood carving, no sirree. Them bears, they mean somethin’ special, somethin’ deep down in the heart, like them old-timers used to say. Folks, they been carvin’ bears on them poles for ages, longer than I can remember, and that’s sayin’ somethin’ considerin’ how old I am! They say the bear, well, it stands for strength, ya know? Like, the kind of strength you need to haul water from the well…

Alright, let’s talk about them totem pole thingies, you know, the big wooden things with all the critters carved on ’em. I ain’t no fancy expert or nothin’, but I seen a few in my time, and they always got me thinkin’. What are these totem pole thingies anyway? Well, from what I gather, they’re like big ol’ stories carved in wood. Indians up north, way up there by the ocean, they made ’em. Not like our Injuns ’round here, mind you. These fellers live way up yonder where it’s…

Alright, let’s talk about this totem maker thing, whatever that means. Sounds fancy, but I bet it ain’t that hard. First off, seems like folks use these totems for all sorts of things. Some fancy website, Behance, they got folks showing off their totem designs. Artists, I guess. They make pretty things, pictures and such. Don’t know much about that, but good for them. Then there’s this Minecraft thing. My grandson, that little whippersnapper, he’s always yappin’ about it. Apparently, you can make a totem in the game, some kinda…

Well now, let me tell ya ’bout this Totem Lodge in Ontario. It’s a place for folks to go, you know, for a little getaway. They call it a “vacation cabin” or a “lodge,” fancy words for a place to rest your bones and maybe catch some fish. What’s so special ’bout this place, you ask? Heck, I don’t know for sure, but they say it’s mighty nice. Got cabins, and that means little houses, I reckon. You can book ’em online, just like you buy them fancy shoes from…

Alright, let’s gab about this Totem Lake West place, ya know? I ain’t no fancy writer or nothin’, just gonna tell ya what I heard and what I reckon it all means. So, this Totem Lake, it’s in Kirkland, Washington. Heard tell it’s right smack-dab in the middle of things. Used to be some old malls there, all rundown and whatnot. But now, they got this thing called The Village at Totem Lake. Sounds fancy, huh? It’s like a new town center, they say. Shops, places to eat, all that…

Alright, let’s talk about this Totem Lake Hotel in Kirkland, Washington. I ain’t never been there myself, mind you, but I heard some things, seen some things on that there internet thingy my grandson showed me. Folks are always lookin’ for a good place to stay, and they want it cheap, ya know? Like, real cheap. So, this hotel, the Totem Lake Hotel, it’s in Kirkland. Kirkland, Washington. That’s what they tell me. Now, I don’t know much about Kirkland, but I reckon it’s a place where people go. Maybe…

Alright, let’s talk about this Totem Lake Hotel, ya hear? I ain’t no fancy writer or nothin’, just gonna tell it like it is, the way I see it. First off, folks wanna know where this place is, right? Well, it’s in Kirkland, Washington. Somewhere on Totem Lake Way, number 12233, if I remember right. Now, I ain’t been there myself, but I heard things. People talk, ya know? Some folks say it’s one of the best hotels around. Can ya believe that? Best! I reckon it must be pretty…

[Body] Well, howdy there! You wanna know ’bout them tiki totem poles, huh? Alright, gather ’round, and I’ll tell ya what I know. Ain’t no fancy talk here, just plain speakin’. So, you’re lookin’ to buy a tiki totem pole, eh? First thing’s first, you gotta figure out what kinda pole you want. They got all sorts, big ones, small ones, some that light up like a Christmas tree, and some that just stand there lookin’ all… tiki-like. You can find ’em just about everywhere these days, even on that…

[Article Body] Alright, let’s talk about this thunderbird thing, you know, the one they carve on them poles and stuff. I ain’t no fancy scholar or nothin’, but I’ve heard things, seen things, and I can tell ya what I know. What’s this thunderbird anyway? Well, from what I gather, it’s a big ol’ bird, bigger than any eagle you ever did see. Some folks say it’s like a person-bird, you know, with human-like things goin’ on. Can you imagine that? A bird that’s kinda like us? Weird, huh? Anyways,…